Helping pets and children build safe, positive relationships

Children don’t always recognise when an animal is feeling scared or overwhelmed. Before your new pet arrives, help your child learn:

• Animals have feelings and need to feel safe
• Pets need rest and quiet time
• We let pets come to us - we don’t chase, grab, or hug them

Young children learn best by watching, so showing them how to behave calmly and gently is key. You can also visit SPCA’s Kid’s Portal for fun and engaging information, activities, and videos to help children learn to understand animal behaviours and how to care for pets.

The introduction of your new pet to any child should be gradual and controlled. Start with brief carefully supervised sessions in a calm and quiet environment. Keep these sessions positive. The interaction should be led by the animal on their terms by letting them calmly approach the child, if they want to. Never force an interaction.

The first interaction sets the tone:

• Choose a quiet time with minimal distractions
• Keep introductions short
• Allow your pet to explore at their own pace
• Make sure children know to be quiet and calm

It’s normal for some pets to feel unsure at first. Giving them space and time helps build trust. Where pets are nervous, encouraging your child to read to them can be good approach, as it helps to keep the child calm and occupied while interacting.

Support your child to interact safely by showing them how to:

• Use a calm, quiet voice
• Move slowly
• Gently stroke the pet in the direction of their fur
• Avoid sensitive areas like the eyes, tail, or paws

Remind children never to disturb a pet that is eating, sleeping, or hiding. Do not allow children to yell, smack, or hurt your pet. Always ensure your pet can move away from the child if they want to and are not followed.

Play can be a fun way for kids and pets to bond. Animals can also get bored and this can contribute to unwanted behaviours. Playing with your pet regularly and using appropriate toys is a great way to avoid boredom.

• For cats consider wand toys to keep sharp claws and teeth away from children’s bodies. Wands toys can also be a great way of enticing shy cats and kittens out of their shell.
• For dogs we recommend games like hide and seek or fetch. If playing fetch, use two similar toys. When your dog returns with the first, present the second to encourage them to drop the first.

Avoid wrestling games; these can be fun while kittens and puppies are small but can result in problem behaviour as your pet grows.

Children and pets should always be supervised when they’re together, this is especially important for dogs. Where this is not possible, dogs and children should be physically separated by a secure barrier. This isn’t about mistrust, it’s about safety. Even calm, friendly animals can react if they feel frightened or overwhelmed.

A child’s first reaction to being mouthed by a boisterous dog is usually to push the dog away. The dog might interpret this as play and repeat the behaviour. Adults should closely monitor all interactions between their children and dogs.

For more tips on safe interactions, check out our Dog Safe Happy Homes resources.

Every pet needs a place where they can rest and not be disturbed. This might be:

• A bed or crate for a dog
• A high perch or hiding place for a cat
• A secure enclosure for smaller animals

Teach children, and other members of the household, that when a pet is in their safe space, they must be left alone. Ensure your pet is able to retreat to this place when they might be feeling overwhelmed; for example, if you have visitors at the house.

Ask children to be involved in the daily care of the animals in the home. Young children can be supervised to put water in the bowl every day and older children can share feeding and training. Children can also make toys for their pets.

While pets are a great way for children to learn about responsibility, it is important to remember that the parent or guardian is ultimately responsible for ensuring their welfare.

If you’re ever unsure about your pet’s behaviour or how to introduce them safely, don’t hesitate to seek advice. Early guidance can prevent problems and keep both children and animals safe. to avoid misinformation and outdated advice, SPCA recommends seeking help from accredited trainers, behaviour consultants or behaviour vets.